Sunday, April 11, 2010

soap box

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. To be honest,I just remembered my password in the shower as I was thinking about the trials and tribulations of this past week. I don't think my brain has been in use this much since...well, I can't remember. Tonight I am on my soap box, and will probably never write about this stuff again:)

I lost a lifelong friend and elementary, middle school, and high school classmate this week. We even went to TSU together but I rarely saw him because we were involved in so much there. When I heard the news last week, I began to think about all of my friends and family I have lost along the way. Hamilton is a small, close knit town, and when we lose someone we all hurt. The morning of John's funeral, we also got news of another death. REO, or Randy, was one of my brother's youth when he was youth minister back home. He had such a sparkling personality and seemed to always be smiling.

I have come to realize over the past two days that I have two goals in life: 1.) To get to Heaven and 2.) to raise Kaiden to be the best man he possibly can

I have not been perfect, and I will be the first to admit I have made several mistakes. But those mistakes brought me to where I am today. I now have the most beautiful baby boy who almost never stops smiling (unless he is hungry or sleepy), I realized, there are a handful of people that I really actually NEED in my life: God, Kaiden, my family, and my select friends who really honestly care about me.

So, what's the point to all of this babble??? Everything that we have going on in our daily lives that make us lose sight of what really matters, actually doesn't matter in the long run. What matters is what we take with us when we are called out of this world. John and I were facebooking the other night and talking about his decisions with church that he made recently, what an awesome feeling to know where John is right now:)

Before the service started I saw another lifelong friend and neighbor:) Jared walk in the door. Little did I know, he would have me cracking up with memories from our past.

My mom always asks me if I it were possible to go back to elem. or high school if I would. I always told her no, but I changed my mind this week. I loved my life, it was so easy and carefree and filled with wonderful people. People always dog small towns because they are so gossipy and everyone knows everyone's business. Well I have learned the hard way that no matter where you are, they still will :)

Time to start another week. While everyone is counting down for LJT fest, I will be counting down to the end of TAKS, and spending the upcoming weekends with my little guy:)


  1. I love you! Thanks for sharing!

  2. ...and those are the things that matter the most :)

    i still need to meet your precious little one!

  3. Well put Jana....Love you and I'm glad you've been part of my life!