Tuesday, January 5, 2010

1st time all over again

Before I start, let me say that the blog will get better. I need my friend Cari's help to figure out how to make it all fancy and stuff:) This is my first run at this so bare with me!

Today I had to go back to work.....again. I felt as if I was leaving Kaiden at the sitters for the first time. Now, I will say I couldn't ask for a better person to watch Kaiden (well besides Granna:)) Lori is the sweetest person I know. She has the most tender voice and the kids there just love her. Kaiden stays at the sitter with his friend Jonas (whos dad works with me and who's mom works with Brandon) and three other little boys who are 3 years old. Lori says that Kaiden just loves to sit and watch the kids play and would all day if he didn't have to sleep. When I dropped him off this morning he was sleeping and I just wanted to bend down and grab him and run out the door with him. This wasn't near as bad as the first time I went back to work. I literally could not sleep the night before. I layed in bed wondering if I could actually make myself get up in the morning. When I fed him I cried, because he looks into my eyes so intensely, and I didn't want him to do that with someone else. When we played I cried, because I didn't want him smiling at someone else when they did something funny. I cried when I changed his diapers because I didn't want him peeing on someone else:) It was the ugly face kind of crying....

It was honestly the worst feeling of my entire life. But, looking back, I think how silly I was because Miss Lori is AMAZING!! He actually did teetee on her the first time she changed his diaper and she just had to email me at school and let me know. It's so nice to be able to run over at lunch (she is only two blocks from my school) or at conference to checkup on him. She also sends emails to let me know how he is doing everyday.

Over the Christmas break we saw lots of family and even made an 11 hour road trip to Brandon's family in Nebraska. Kaiden did SOOOO good in the car. Despite it taking us three days to get up there because of the snow, he slept the entire way home, minus the one time he wanted to be fed!!

Kaiden has grown SO much. He will be three months old on January 11 and it just amazes me how different he is since he was born. I remember thinking, "Is this kid ever going to wake up, all he does is sleep!" Now he laughs all the time, rolls over, kicks, stands up, and finally LOVES taking a bath!! We have gotten to the point where he can be layed in his crib and he falls asleep on his own. We are also to the point of him sleeping through the night!! I was just telling someone today how nice it is to actually get sleep at night now. I can remember when he was waking up every two hours and I didn't know how I was going to make it. I couldn't wait till the weekends when my parents came so I could get some sleep, or the afternoons when his daddy got home so I could at least go brush my teeth! No one ever prepares you for how exhausting it is going to be, but on the other hand, no one ever prepares you for how amazing the feeling is when they smile at you:)

I could go on for hours, but my hot bath is calling me!

5 comments:

  1. Yea Jana...you have a blog! I know it was hard on you and Cari and all the other mommies who had to go back to work! I told Cari I cried for a year when I had to leave her and she was four! Take care of that sweet baby...I still can't wait to see him!

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  2. Great job on the blogging Jana!!! Mine isn't as great as Cari's, but go to www.thecutestblogontheblock.com to get some cute backgrounds. I want to hold your cute little baby!!! He's beautiful!

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  3. You and Cari are much tougher than I am and I think it will be best for the boys in the long run! I still rarely leave Judson anywhere ... my mom is the only person that has ever kept him besides Jason or I and that has only been for me to really run errands around town ... oh wait Jason's grandma Ruth did keep him the other day for about 15 minutes! :) I cried when I read your blog and the recent one that Cari wrote too about leaving Tristin at the day care! I'm proud of you both and just know you are stronger than me!

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  4. Aww Jan let's see I cried laughed cried somemore and then laughed while hitting my knee! I'd love to help you on your blog background! You've expressed my feelings through this blog as well! I love you and will continue to think of a company we can start so we can stay home with the boys!! give Kaiden a hug and a kiss from me! Hope to see u this weekend!

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  5. Love the blog!! It is such a good form of therapy isn't it? Reading your post made me think back to the first year. It was like reliving it all over again. You are such a good mom. Cherish this time cause it really does go by so fast! I am so glad to hear about you sleeping all night now. Told ya it would happen

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